...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
