I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
