Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
