I'm drive I can fine osifer
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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