it wasn't lemon gatorade
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
