Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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