I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
where am i from again
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
