Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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