He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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