Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
