Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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