there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i would one night stand the shit outta him
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
