This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
