you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
