Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
