i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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