Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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