So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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