i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
