It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
