I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
