I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
