You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
