all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
