yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
