have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
