he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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