I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
