I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
