well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
