my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
