I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
ugly people sure do ruin things
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
