Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
