It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
