Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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