just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
