Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she told me i tasted like america
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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