I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
