So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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