so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
