Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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