she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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