Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
