how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
