are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
