that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
