I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
