New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Slut skills are useful in every country.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
