what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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