Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
